Daily Dilemma

DAILY DILEMMA

FAMILY

Good morning everyone! Today's scenario is about family. It may play tug with your heart and head. So let's just get to it.

As Donna sat by the pool in the hot August sun; she was listening to her favorite radio station. The song on the radio reminded her of a summer day when she was a little girl. She thought about all the holidays she missed in the past 6 years since her marriage to James. Donna and James felt the move away from family would help their relationship, plus the job market in their hometown was anything but good.

Donna had tears in her eyes when James came in the room. "What's wrong honey?" "James, I've been thinking. I really miss having a family holiday. Wouldn't it be nice to go home for Christmas?" "Honey, you know what what happens when we go home? Do you really want to go?" Donna shook her head excitedly." James just slumped his head down. "All we end up doing is fighting about who we are staying with, who we visit first, and it's like tug-of-war." Half the time your family is too drunk to even notice we are there. That doesn't sound like much fun. Plus, they don't like me. They just tolerate me." Family members on some level are comfortable, predictable, and well family. The old saying goes like this, "You can change your friends, but you can't change your family."

Analysis:

This can be a huge dilemma. Given the fact the have lived away from their hometown for 6 years. It sure can change the dynamic of the relationship. This couple have changed in a lot of ways. They now have their own way of doing things, traditions, opinions, ect... This can be somewhat difficult to carry on a comfortable relationship with their family of origin. As the years go on they feel more and more out of place with their family, almost like they are strangers.

Solutions:

Would you visit for the holidays? Know it could create conflict in your current relationship? Would you talk to your family openly about your concerns? Maybe they have the same concerns but just can describe them to you in an appropriate manner. It all starts with communication.

Family, everyone needs one!