Daily Dilemma #1 Workplace/Co-Workers

DAILY DILEMMA
RUMOR CONTROL

Good Morning! Wow it's Monday again. The weekend just seems to go by to fast, huh? Do you work in an organization with more than 2 people? If this is the case sometimes wires get crossed and someone starts a rumor that may not be completely true. The person may have misinterpreted the message, or their perception of the situation is different Here's a ork place scenario about a rumor:

Pam, Maggie, and Chloe all work for the Helper's Agency. The Helper's Agency is a private company that helps the homeless in their community. The Helper's Agency has been serving the homeless for 20 years. Both Pam and Maggie have worked at the agency for about 15 of the 20 years and have seen many changes. The changes coming up are not anything they have ever seen. Pam is the Program Director for the skill building unit. The unit has been very successful for the past 15 years helping individuals and families by motivating, teaching, and supporting. Most of the funding for this unit comes by way of private donations.

Pam sat in her weekly managers meeting thinking about the trip to Hawaii she was taking with her daughters next. Her mind wandered back and forth to "no funding" to "cut in progam." Pam woke from her day dreaming of clear blue water and rumbling waves hitting the shoreline to panic! She was afraid to ask any questions to Robin and Maurice (the Executive Director and owner of the agency) about her program. She knew the plot. She was going on vacation and when she returned her desk would be cleared and she would be asked to leave because of "the cut in her program."

Pam was so sick to her stomach after that meeting she could not eat lunch. She continued to look at the phone and then began dialing Maggie's extension. "Maggie, I hope you are sitting down. I have some bad news for you. They are closing our program we are all going to be fired at the next staff meeting." "I told you they were going to do this. I knew they were scheming", Maggie blurted out. "How do you think Chloe's going to take this? We just hired her." "I want to meet with both of you in an hour. Clear your schedules." "Okay, I'll let Chloe know to clear her schedule too. See you in an hour."

Pam continued to tap her pen on her desk, fidget in her chair, pick up the phone and put it down several times. As she looked up at the clock there was a knock on her door and Maggie and Chloe appeared. Her wrinkled forehead showed her frustration and Chloe had no idea what was going on, but her gut told her it wasn't good.

"Hello Ladies." I have some very bad news today. Chloe sat with her lips pursed and legs crossed thinking of what the "bad news could be." Pam went on by saying, "They are closing our unit. They don't need us anymore, even though we bring so much to this agency. They are out of money and will all be out of a job by the end of the year."

Maggie looked like her world had crashed before her, and Chloe had no expression on her face. "Well I guess that's it girls."

The day of the all staff meeting Pam was pacing in her bedroom and debating whether she was to ill to go to work. She kept looking at the clock and still had not showered. Finally she decided to shower and go to work. She always enjoyed making late entries.

At the all staff meeting the agency owner was cracking his usual boring jokes. Everyone laughed politely. He never mentioned closing any units or the agency being out of money. He told everyone the last quater had good financials and they were changing their benefits package.

Pam missed most of the meeting and she arrived just in time to give her report. As she stood at the podium tears welled up in her eyes. She apologized for her feelings. She told the rest of the staff how much she has enjoyed working for the organization. She then let out the bomb! "I'm not happy with Robin and Maurice and do not support their decision. Robin and Maurice looked at each other in confusion. The rest of the staff looked at each other and Robin and Maurice in confusion. Pam then continued to tell the staff that Robin and Maurice plotted to close her unit and how they never wanted to help people and they were only in it for the money.

Maurice then rose and got up to the podium and gently guided Pam to her seat and dismissed the rest of the staff immediately.

"What was that all about Pam?" "You said in the executive meeting last week you were cutting programs and the agency was out of money." "Pam, I don't know where you got that information but what was said was we were looking to expand our programs and look for more donors. If we couldn't find more donors then we needed to cut the expanded programs because we would be out of money."

Pam sat there looking embarrased. Maurice immediately demoted her and told her she was on probation, and mandated her to attend a communications class.

That night Pam wrote out her resignation about five times.

Rumors are just that, rumors. Asking questions and having good communication skills is a must in all organizations. Wires tend to get crossed and messages misinterpeted. In this case is not only cost Pam her job but her reputation. She may not be trusted again for a long time.

Daily Dilemma

DAILY DILEMMA

SOCIETAL

Good Morning, it sure is a warm May day. I can tell the days are getting longer when the light shines through my window at 5:30am. I love mornings! OK on with today's dilemma. Our behaviors and actions as individuals shape our society. For all of you pet lovers out there I have one for you to think about. How many of us have humanized our pets? Do we treat them better than our human counterparts sometimes? What do we do when they die?How does that effect us? Do we grieve the same as the death of a child, parent, aunt, uncle, and so on? Do our pets really become part of us and sometimes take on our personalities? Here's a scenario:

An email popped up on my computer screen at work from my husband that read: "How cute is this little guy? My co-worker is moving and unable to take him with her. Do we have room for another dog? We instantly fell in love with Buster. That evening Buster came over for a visit to get acquainted with our family. He was scared and barking non-stop. Almost like a baby who would cry when separated from his mother. We told Buster's then owner we would give him a wonderful home. As she left our house she cried. I now know just how special Buster was.

A few months past and Buster calmed down and integrated into the family well. One evening my husband and I were out on a date when one of the kids phoned in a panic. "Buster is having a seizure. We're taking him to the Vet. I had a difficult time concentrating on having a good time and was interrupted by the ringing of the phone every 10 minutes. Finally, my daughter called to say Buster was stable and the Vet gave him medication that he would need to be on for the rest of his life. From that point on Buster responded well to the phenobarbital. However, it caused some aggression. When people came over to visit and would get close to one of us he would attack them. His medication was then changed to potassium bromide and he responded much better. His seizures were less and less. Buster spent more time at the Vet than some children would spend at their doctor's office.

As the years flew by Buster grew to become the main focus in the family. He greeted everyone at the dog with his loud piercing bark and funny smile. He took on the personality of he older dog and followed him everywhere and copied his mannerisms. Buster had his own space where he slept and napped during the day. He was a huge presence.

One May evening one of my kids noticed Buster was lethargic. He just wasn't being himself. He looked him over and found a big black hole on his belly! They immediately brought him to the Vet. The Vet said he was bitten by something and he needed surgery. The Vet drained the poison and put a tube in his belly to continue the draining. He had the tube in him for about 2 weeks. He seemed to get better and return to his noisy self. One day woke up and was having difficulty breathing and at this time his seizures came back. He was taken back to the Vet several times in several weeks and no one could explain what was wrong with him. No one knew what to do for him.

His breathing issues got worse and worse. We kept him as comfortable as possible but it just wasn't enough. One June morning we woke up and Buster had died from complications of his "spider bite." The grief was so ingrained. He was a part of our family. He was like one of the kids. He made us laugh, cry, and angry, but he was special. We will never forget him. It's been almost a year since he died and there really isn't a day I don't think about him. He was a big part of my life and always will be. May he rest in peace.

Pets can enhance our moods by the funny things they do. They become part of us and shape our life. This entry is not a normal entry, but a tribute to our little Buster. As a society we have come to humanize our pets. Is is because we live so far away from family? Are we replacing our pets for family and children? Pets do bring a special joy to our lives.

Thanks for listening today. Buster was a special part of our lives. We will never forget you!

Daily Dilemma

DAILY DILEMMA

FRIENDSHIPS

Good day! Do you ever wish you knew what was going on in someones head? Maybe if you knew your perception about that person would be different? Well, let's take a look at this scenario (remember all scenarios are acts of fiction):

The talk around the water cooler these days was the birth of Eileen's first born. The mood around the office has been of excitement with three friends. Eileen, Pam, and Debbie have all worked together for the past 7 years and have shared many meals, girls retreat weekends to the coast, and wine tasting. They have all been a part of each others weddings and holiday gatherings. This event was no different.

Pam had taken the lead in heading up Eileen's baby shower. She had secured the venue at C's Restaurant, bought all the decorations, invitations, and controlled the guest list. Pam's so free with her money and been very generous with other events in the past. Debbie was very excited for Eileen and talked nothing but how many times she will to babysit for Eileen so she and her husband can spend time quality time together after the birth of the baby.

The day of the event arrived and Debbie is no where in sight. Eileen asks Pam where Debbie could be. "I hope she's alright. She's never missed an event." I'll give her a call."

Eileen punched in Debbie's phone number and listened to the buzzing. No answer and no answering machine. "That's odd." As Eileen clicked her cell phone closed.

Debbie sat on her bed and listened as the phone rang over and over. Tears streaked her faced she knew who called, but couldn't bare to answer. She knew she was not attending the party for her guilt was to much to bare. Debbie received a pay cut and was unable to buy a gift for Eileen. She made the decision to quit her job on Monday and never speak to Eileen and Pam again.

Anaylsis: I know this must sound drastic; however, there are people who really feel this way. They see other people give material items and buy big lavish gifts and are unable to recipricate.

Solution: Don't you think Debbie at least owns both Eileen and Pam an explaination. Communication in a relationship is key. Why keep it to yourself when I bet Pam and Eileen would have been more than understanding. Sometimes we destroy relationship unnecessarily.

Daily Dilemma

DAILY DILEMMA

FAMILY

Good morning everyone! Today's scenario is about family. It may play tug with your heart and head. So let's just get to it.

As Donna sat by the pool in the hot August sun; she was listening to her favorite radio station. The song on the radio reminded her of a summer day when she was a little girl. She thought about all the holidays she missed in the past 6 years since her marriage to James. Donna and James felt the move away from family would help their relationship, plus the job market in their hometown was anything but good.

Donna had tears in her eyes when James came in the room. "What's wrong honey?" "James, I've been thinking. I really miss having a family holiday. Wouldn't it be nice to go home for Christmas?" "Honey, you know what what happens when we go home? Do you really want to go?" Donna shook her head excitedly." James just slumped his head down. "All we end up doing is fighting about who we are staying with, who we visit first, and it's like tug-of-war." Half the time your family is too drunk to even notice we are there. That doesn't sound like much fun. Plus, they don't like me. They just tolerate me." Family members on some level are comfortable, predictable, and well family. The old saying goes like this, "You can change your friends, but you can't change your family."

Analysis:

This can be a huge dilemma. Given the fact the have lived away from their hometown for 6 years. It sure can change the dynamic of the relationship. This couple have changed in a lot of ways. They now have their own way of doing things, traditions, opinions, ect... This can be somewhat difficult to carry on a comfortable relationship with their family of origin. As the years go on they feel more and more out of place with their family, almost like they are strangers.

Solutions:

Would you visit for the holidays? Know it could create conflict in your current relationship? Would you talk to your family openly about your concerns? Maybe they have the same concerns but just can describe them to you in an appropriate manner. It all starts with communication.

Family, everyone needs one!

DAILY DILEMMA

FRIENDSHIPS

Welcome back to my daily dilemma. I am writing these to help people look at the way they live their lives. Keep in mind all scenarios are just that scenarios. They are fictional in nature. However, most of these scenarios can be very real and hit home for a lot of you. So today's scenario is about friendship. Ever invite a friend over and they never leave?

Angela grabbed the phone and put it to here ear and belted out, "hello." "Hey Angela it's Toni. I got a new barbecue and would love it if you can join us for dinner tonight." "Toni, oh hi. I'd love to come over. Can I bring anything?" "No no just yourself." "Great what time?" "How about 2pm." "Perfect I'll see you then." "Looking forward to Angela, bye." Angela placed the phone back on the cradle and skipped to the shower to get ready. Angela was so excited she couldn't wait until 2pm and decided to leave early. She really enjoys Toni's company and has a great time when they get together.

Toni is frantically picking items up off the floor and cleaning her kitchen to make it look presentable for her company today. Toni curses as the door bell rings at 12:45pm. "Who could that be?" She draws a breath as she looks through the peep hole and sees Angela standing there with a six pack of beer and homemade cake in her hand. Toni is thinking to herself, "Why is she here so early? I'm not even close to being ready for anyone to walk in my house." Toni puts a smile on her face as she opens the door. "Angela you are early!" Yes, I was so excited I wanted to just come early. I know we are going to have a blast."

As the day goes on both women share much food and drink. Toni is starting to get tired and looks at the clock and it's 11:50pm. She yawns as a hint for Angela to get going home, but she isn't budging.

Analysis: It's nice to have friends and invite them over for a good time. However, when friends arrive early and stay for hours on end this can put a strain on the relationship. Keeping good boundries is very important. Setting and awarness of yours and others boundries is crucial to a good solid relationhship. When someone says 2pm, then it's 2pm. You can show up a few minutes early, but 2hours is crossing the line. Everyone is different on how long to stay but typically a few hours is just enough time to enjoy and sets the tone for the next time! Staying longer should be mutally agreed upon and using good judgement about what's appropriate is necessary.

Solution: How do you know when you are over staying your welcome? What is a reasonable time frame and limit to visiting a friend?

Stay tuned for more of your daily dilemma. See if you are able to answer these questions for yourself. How do you enhance your friendships?

Daily Dilemma

WORK PLACE ISSUES

In my work with organizations I come across so many people who have many different beliefs, values, and opinions. How do we as a society accept other view points? Do people just skim over the information in their brain and then discard it because it's different and uncomfortable? Here's today dilemma:

Sue works as a cashier in a large retail store. She has the most contact with customers on any given day. Monday at 7:00am is the weekly staff meeting. Managers, supervisors and associates are all in attendance. Sue likes to contribute about what types of customers she sees on the floor. She talks about the elderly customers who come in and want to talk about their younger years and how stores have changed, and they are not personalized any longer. She also talks about the younger customers who can't find anything on the floor that are their style. Then she talks about the middle aged customer who just wanders the store with no interest in buying anything.

Sue notices the more she talks about how to help her customers the more tuned out the supervisors and managers are. Why is that she wonders? Is it because they don't think I bring anything of value? Sue thinks she is doing something wrong by chiming in during the staff meeting. She thought that's what staff meetings were all about.

One day after the staff meeting her supervisor asks her to meet him in his office before her shift. Sue obeys and he scolds her for talking to much in the meetings. He told her to not say a word anymore, because it makes him look bad. Sue told him she is just trying to help. "I said don't say a word during the meetings or you are fired." Sue was taken aback by this attitude. She noticed the past few weeks after this confrontation with her supervisor, he and other associates have been treating her terribly. She does not know what to do anymore and loses confidence in her abilities for the job and other possible opportunities.

Analysis: It seems there are many issues happening in this scenario. There seems to be a diligent worker who wants to do her job and do it to the best of her ability. We have supervisors and managers that are not allowing their employees to voices opinions about their job.

Solution:

What do you think about the supervisor? What do you think about Sue (the associate)? Should she have right to her opinion to make things run smoother and more efficient? Is she really making her boss look bad?

Daily Dilemma (Friendships)

How long do you need to know someone before you attend their loved ones funeral? What really is the meaning of a friend? Are there different categories of friends? Let's take a look at this scenario:

The dinging sound on Keith's computer let him know an email has hit his inbox. The message read: "Please reach out to Mac." Keith's stomach flip flopped as he clicked his mouse over the message. The note simply read:

It is with deepest regret that I inform you
Mac Mason's wife Jenny passed away unexpectedly.
As a member of the Rye Association please reach out
to Mac and show your support as a fellow Ryer and friend.
The funeral will be held at Unity Church on Monday at 9am.
Please confirm if you will be in attendance.

Keith's heart skipped a few beats. His phobia for funerals just kicked in. He said to himself,
"Mac is a fellow Ryer, but I don't know him well enough. I only met his wife twice." Keith continued to ponder if he should attend the funeral. He wants to support his fellow club member and association., but this takes him way out of his comfort zone.

Analysis:

Keith knows Mac through the association. He has had conversations with him, but not enough to call him a friend. Should he go as a representative of the club, or a member of a delegation? But, it all starts with communication. Death and dying a difficult and emotional situation, that we don't plan for or give much consideration to. This lack of comfort with these feelings makes it all the more difficult when this situation arises.

Solution:

Should he attend the funeral? Would you attend the funeral? If Keith decided to attend would it enhance the relationship with the Mac? Would there be a deeper meaning to friendship if he attend this funeral?