Daily Dilemma / Family 1

DAILY DILEMMA/FAMILY ISSUES

6 AM First Street: The sun, like a bright orange ball rises into the sky, and the sound of alarm clocks blare through the house. The scurrying to get ready for the day begins. Lisa wakes up first, and starts the morning assembly by making the coffee and breakfast for all. Jim rolls out of bed, preoccupied already thinking about deadlines he needs to meet for the day. As he staggers through the early morning ritual he barely acknowledges the scene or says anything to Lisa and the kids. Tim and Karen run downstairs, strew their backpacks on the kitchen table, inhale breakfast, and are last seen rushing for the 7:00 AM bus.

At ages 14 and 17 the kids’ morning chores are simple: Make their beds, and pick up the occasional stray items from the floor in their rooms. At times, Lisa will ask Tim or Karen to put the dishes in the dishwasher and feed the dogs but lately it feels like she is invisible. As they are getting dressed, eating breakfast, and watching morning cartoons there is no time to complete their morning chores. Lisa attempts to ask if their beds are made. But, as if suddenly struck deaf they both run out of the house oblivious to that parting question.

Meanwhile Jim is upstairs exercising on the treadmill and watching the morning news. When he is finished with his workout he takes his shower, leaves his clothes all over the bathroom floor, and runs downstairs grabs a cup of coffee and leaves for work without saying goodbye.

Lisa is left to pick up after everyone, maintain all the household financial issues, and needs to leave for work herself. She is feeling a bit overwhelmed these days because of her own deadlines and demands with her job. She is angry and vows to “take care of everyone when she arrives home tonight.”

Analysis: Everyone is doing their own thing and not paying attention to what is important. Tim and Karen are in the habit of blowing off mom and not completing simple chores. Jim is taking for granted the relationship he has with Lisa that she will be there to pick up after him and support him through his issues. Lisa is the “doer” and feels taken advantage of from time to time, but allows and chooses this to happen. Is this a typical family issue?

Solution: Have you ever stopped to think about your immediate family members? Have you often thought about their feelings and thoughts? Have you attempted to put yourself in there shoes? Since family members feel “we are family”, we know what everyone is thinking and feeling. This often is not the case. Try for just 5 minutes to stop and check in with everyone. Communication in families is important, don’t take anything for granted. It may feel like you can read each others minds, but we really can’t. Twenty years down the road you may wake up one morning and find out you have been living with strangers.

Disclaimer: : All scenarios, Characters, names, and places are fictional.